Celebrity Fashion Watch

Here it is, Part Dos of my Most Horrible Celebrity Fashion Moments of 2006. I hope you have as much evil fun reading it as I did writing it.

5.

Oh, honey. Is this some kind of joke? You look like I did when I made the cheerleading team in 9th grade and as part of our “initiation” the older girls made us wear all, and by all I mean all, their really old, really ugly clothes to school, along with signs poking fun at our own shortcomings. You’re missing the sign, but I imagine it would say something like “I’m Gwen, and I think I can wear anything. But I’m way wrong.”

4.

I almost hate to poke fun here, because Melissa Joan Hart looks so proud of herself. But maybe she’s just proud of her sewing skills, because she managed to rip the shiny vinyl cover off a booth seat from Ruby’s 50’s Diner and make it into a dress.

3.

I don’t know who this woman is, or why she took LSD right before getting dressed, but I had to include her. I mean, how awesome is this dress? It should go in a museum. I might put her on a “Purty Fashion Moments of 2006″ list too, because I have a deep, deep love of crazy people. And she looks pretty darn crazy.

2.

Look, Beyonce, if you didn’t want me to make “crazy” jokes, as in “crazy hair,” “crazy ugly booties,” “crazy dog ripping up the hem of Beyonce’s little suit-dress,” you shouldn’t have named a song “Crazy in Love.” I’m not built to withstand that kind of obviousness.

aaaaannnddd. . .drumroll please. . . .

1.

This is almost comically bad. I mean, I made all the rain-soaked Juliet and dumpster-diving jokes I could back when I posted this for the first time. And I laughed at them, as I always do. And now. . .now I find myself looking at this and just thinking “She’s effing with us. That’s it, it’s all a big joke. Maybe there’s only one Olsen, Ashley, and Mary-Kate is like this crazy alter ego designed to make Ashley look totally together and normal and well-dressed and also, like a really good sister for not saying bitchy things in tabloids about Mary-Kate’s penchant for shopping almost continually yet always wearing crazy-ugly clodhoppers and really ratty, really un-brushed hair and thinking red lipstick looks good on her.”

Gwen Stefani, Melissa Joan Hart, Beyonce, Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, Fashion, Celebrities, Fugly