So Close, Yet So, So, So Very Far Away
Dear Lindsay,
Can I call you Lindsay? Because I feel like I know you, what with all the pondering of your picture I do. Great. So this is a busy time of year for me, awards season, you know, lots of pictures of actors and actresses and singers and all that sort to think up new and inventive insults for. I would like to remove you from the list of people I have to insult, not only because it’s a lot of work for me, but also because sometimes you get it so close to right that I feel like with just a leeetle bit of help you could be lovely.
Like this dress, that you wore to some dinner hosted by Sienna Miller.
Now I understand that you were in direct competition with Sienna Miller, who is liable to wear something insane like her bathing suit with a porkpie hat, or sandals laced up the outside of her jeans, but that does not excuse this. Especially because I have this vague feeling in the back of my brain that I would really like this dress, but that feeling is more or less drowned out by the voice that is screaming “Dear heavenly crapola, girl, how hard is it to cover up your niblets!? I mean, shee-it, I do it on a daily basis, and my bank account is thinner than you used to be!”
You can see what I’m talking about, although it really isn’t anything we haven’t seen before, and it ruins a perfectly nice dress, after the jump.
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